Sometimes I get into moods where I can't handle anything that reminds me of the past. Like, the Pikmin theme song, or this SONIC ADVENTURE THEME SONG. Sonic Adventure Theme Song is even worse, because obvious reasons.

And I mean. Come on. It really fucking sucks to suddenly have uncontrollable anxiety because all of a sudden I can't stop thinking about my SICK SORDID PAST and how I made TERRIBLE LIFE-RUINING MISTAKES. And, you know, everything else I think about that makes me anxious. I try so hard to stop, and then BAM. SONIC ADVENTURE THEME SONG, REMINDING YOU OF THAT ONE TIME THAT THIS OR THAT HAPPENED WHEN SOMEONE OR SOMETHING WAS PLAYING SONIC ADVENTURE, AND BAM you think about SONIC ADVENTURE 2, AND HOW YOU CHEATED AT MAKING CHAO GOOD, AND HOW SOMETIMES YOU GOT TEXTS AND SOMETIMES YOU THINK SOMEONE LIKES YOU BUT THEN YOU FIND OUT THEY HATE YOU AND THEN YOU THINK ABOUT HOW THIS IS A RECURRING THEME IN YOUR LIFE AND THAT MAYBE JUST MAYBE YOU COULD FIX IT BUT NO YOU MANAGED TO MAKE THE LAST ONE EVEN WORSE THAN ANY ONE HAS EVER BEEN AND YOU SAY "FUCK MAN, WHAT TEH FUCK DID I DO? DO I REALLY SUCK THIS MUCH?" AND YOU ARE REMINDED THAT YOU DO NOT SUCK AND THAT NO ONE SHOULD HATE YOU EXCEPT ONE OF THE VERY FEW PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY LIKE BECAUSE WHY WOULD THAT NOT HAPPEN, AND THEN YOU SAY OH HAY and then all of the sudden FFXI MUSIC IS PLAYING AND YOU THINK ABOUT HOW GAY MIDDLE SCHOOL WAS AND THEN WHEN YOU THINK OF MIDDLE SCHOOL YOU THINK OF DAN DAN FOR SOME REASON AND REMEMBER HOW YOU MANAGED TO RUIN LIVES WHEN TRYING TO BE A GOOD FRIEND LAWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

This is me, my life, and a brief 2-minute snippet of what is going to be an hour (but probably more) of self-loathing and anxiety.

And, in case Anonymous Internet is wondering, I thought what I was doing was the right thing, and I have to convince myself once every few days that I am not wrong for blowing up Dan Dan's life, because I have to tell myself "IT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED ANYWAY I PROMISE"

And, in case Anonymous Internet is wondering, I really really hate hurting people on accident. And I really really would do anything to fix the mistakes I have made, and the fact that I can never do anything makes me nervous more than most of you can even imagine.